February 11, 2024 – 2 Samuel 18 – 19

Lesson Date: February 11, 2024

Focal Scripture Passage: 2 Samuel 18:1-17, 28-33; 19:1-8

AIM: To lead students to discover the costs of David’s regret, and to commit themselves to trying to mend broken relationships so they can avoid regret in the future.

Before class: Read the notes on 2 Samuel 18 – 20 found in the Sunday School Teacher Book.  Get enough handouts for your anticipated attendance.  Write the words “Sorrow,” “Sadness,” and “Grief” on the board.

INTRODUCTION (Create Learning Readiness): Direct the students’ attention to the words “Sorrow,” “Sadness,” and “Grief” written on the board.  Ask them to define each of the words.

Tell the class that we have probably all experienced sorrow, sadness, or grief, such as at the death of a loved one.  Ask if any volunteers would briefly tell of a time they experienced sorrow, sadness, or grief.

Write the word “Regret” on the board.  Ask: “Is regret the same as sorrow, sadness, or grief?” (no).  Ask: “What is the difference between regret and the other three words written on the board?”  Allow time for some responses, and then explain that the word regret implies that there is no way to go back and fix a problem or correct a mistake we’ve made.  Tell the class people regret a lost opportunity to make something right, past actions that hurt others, or broken relationships that can never be fixed.  Stress the fact that regret is a very sad word.

Tell the students that one of the saddest examples of regret is someone weeping over an open casket, wishing they could have one more conversation with their deceased loved one to settle some trivial dispute or set their relationship right again.  Tell them death makes reconciliation or apology impossible, causing deep regret.

Tell the class the title of today’s lesson is Costs of a Father’s Regret.  Tell them as we continue our study of King David, we will learn what caused him deep regret, and the costs of his regret.

HEART OF THE LESSON (Bible Study):

1. Review.
   • Remind the class that we are studying the Old Testament book of 2 Samuel.
   • Ask: “What events described in 2 Samuel 11 forever changed David’s life and family?” (his adultery with Bathsheba and murder of her husband, Uriah).
   • Remind the students that God forgave David’s sins, but also promised that there would be terrible fallout from those sins.
   • Ask: “What was last week’s lesson about?” (More Costs of David’s Sins; David’s son Absalom rebelled and seized David’s throne).
   • Remind the class that David and those loyal to him escaped across the Jordan River to the city of Mahanaim (locate on the Map) with Absalom and his army in pursuit, setting the stage for a bloody battle for control of Israel.
2. The Bloody Battle.
   • Read 2 Samuel 18:1-2.
   • Tell the class that David divided his soldiers into three divisions commanded by three capable battlefield commanders.
   • Ask: “What did David say to his soldiers at the end of verse 2?” (that he would go with them into battle).
   • Read 2 Samuel 18:3-5.
   • Ask: “According to verse 3, how did his soldiers respond?” (they refused to let David go to war, saying he was more valuable to the nation than 10,000 soldiers).
   • Stress the fact that these soldiers were loyal to David and loved him so much they were willing to die for him.
   • Ask: “According to verse 4, what did David do?” (he agreed to their request and stayed at the city gate of Mahanaim while his army went out to war).
   • Ask: “What special instructions did David give his battlefield commanders in verse 5?” (deal gently with Absalom; in other words, don’t hurt or kill him).
   • Ask: “Who heard those instructions?” (all the soldiers).
   • Ask a volunteer to read 2 Samuel 18:6-8.
   • Tell the students that the battle took place in the forest of Ephraim, a densely wooded area just east of the Jordan River and north of Mahanaim (locate that area on the Map).
   • Ask: “Who won the battle?” (David’s army).
   • Explain that the victory was so overwhelming that 20,000 of Absalom’s soldiers were killed; plus, verse 8 says more soldiers died from accident, injury, or becoming hopelessly lost in the woods than died in the battle!
   • Summarize: David’s army decisively defeated Absalom’s army in a bloody battle that claimed many lives.
3. The Death of Absalom.
   • Ask a volunteer to read 2 Samuel 18:9.
   • Ask: “What happened to Absalom as he was fleeing from David’s army?” (his head and thick hair [2 Sam. 14:26] got caught in the limbs of a tree; his mule ran out from under him, leaving Absalom hanging helplessly from the tree).
   • Read 2 Samuel 18:10-13.
   • Tell the students that one of David’s soldiers saw Absalom hanging from the tree and told Joab (David’s general); Joab rebuked the soldier for not killing Absalom, saying he would have rewarded the soldier.
   • Ask: “According to verse 12, why didn’t the soldier kill Absalom?” (because he heard David’s order not to harm Absalom).
   • Ask a volunteer to read 2 Samuel 18:14-17.
   • Ask: “What did Joab and his armor bearers do to Absalom?” (killed him as he hung helpless and defenseless in the tree).
   • Ask: “Why do you think Joab violated King David’s order?” (Joab may have hated Absalom for burning his field or for rebelling against David, he may have feared Absalom would again try to steal David’s throne, or he may have thought Absalom deserved to die for sparking a rebellion that cost so many lives).
   • Tell the class Joab called a halt to the battle and threw Absalom’s body in a pit in the forest.
   • Summarize: Absalom was unceremoniously killed and his body buried in a pit under a pile of rocks in the woods.
4. David’s Deep Regret.
   • Tell the class that two messengers ran back to Mahanaim with news of the great victory.
   • Read 2 Samuel 18:28-30.
   • Tell the students the first messenger arrived and told David about the victory.
   • Ask: “What’s the first thing David asked this messenger?” (if Absalom was safe, but the first messenger did not know about Absalom’s fate).
   • Read 2 Samuel 18:31-32.
   • Tell the class the second messenger arrived and told David about the victory.
   • Ask: “What’s the first thing David asked that messenger?” (if Absalom was safe; the second messenger told him that Absalom was dead).
   • Ask a volunteer to read 2 Samuel 18:33.
   • Ask: “How did David react to this news?” (he was overcome with grief, wept, and said he wished he had died instead of Absalom).
   • Ask: “After Absalom stole the hearts of Israel, rebelled against David and seized his throne, publicly violated David’s concubines, and then tried to kill David, why do you think David mourned so deeply over Absalom’s death?” (the only answer is regret).
   • Explain the following:
     • Because of his polygamy, David was never a true father to Absalom.
     • Absalom was very angry because David didn’t punish Amnon for raping Absalom’s sister Tamar.
     • After Absalom killed Amnon, David left Absalom in foreign exile for three years.
     • When he finally brought Absalom home, David refused to see him for two more years.
     • Their relationship had been broken for many years.
     • Direct everyone’s attention to the words written on the board.
     • When Absalom died, David didn’t just experience “Sorrow,” “Sadness,” and “Grief,” he fell into deep “Regret” because he could never fix their broken relationship.
     • David’s regret was so deep that he wished he could have died in Absalom’s place!
   • Summarize: Thousands of Israelites died in a bloody battle to keep David on the throne, but instead of mourning for them, he experienced crippling regret over the death of his rebellious son.
5. Costs of David’s Regret.
   • Ask a volunteer to read 2 Samuel 19:1.
   • Ask: “What was Joab told?” (that David was weeping and mourning over Absalom’s death).
   • Read 2 Samuel 19:2-4.
   • Ask: “According to verse 2, what effect did David’s regret have on the victorious warriors?” (it turned their victory into mourning).
   • Ask: “According to verse 3, how did David’s victorious soldiers enter the city?” (they snuck into town in shame rather than proudly marching through the city gates in triumph).
   • Tell the students that throughout history, returning soldiers have been greeted with victory parades; but rather than being greeted at the gate by their king, David’s victorious soldiers were made to feel like they had done something terribly wrong.
   • Read 2 Samuel 19:5-7.
   • Ask: “According to verse 5, what did Joab say David had done?” (shamed his soldiers).
   • Ask: “What did Joab tell David in verse 6?” (that David loved his enemies and hated his friends so much that it appeared he would have been happier if Absalom had lived and all of his soldiers had died).
   • Tell the class that David’s regret made him so self-centered that he didn’t care about anyone but himself.
   • Ask: “What warning did Joab give David in verse 7?” (he said if David didn’t pull himself together and speak kind, comforting, encouraging words to his troops, they would desert him before morning).
   • Ask a volunteer to read 2 Samuel 9:8.
   • Ask: “How did David respond to Joab’s warning?” (he heeded it, going down to the city gate to encourage the soldiers).
   • Summarize: David’s regret caused him to be so focused on himself that he didn’t care about anyone else, bringing shame upon his victorious soldiers.

PERSONAL APPLICATION: Remind the students that the title of today’s lesson is Costs of a Father’s Regret.  Ask: “Why did David experience deep regret?” (his rebellious son Absalom was killed).

Ask: “What did David’s regret cost him?” (he became so despondent that he was utterly paralyzed into inaction).  Ask: “What did David’s regret cost his army?” (it demoralized and shamed them).

Give everyone the handout containing the text of Deuteronomy 6:4-9.  Read those verses to the class.  Tell the students that those verses contain instructions for all believers, and especially for parents.  Unfortunately, however, David was not that kind of father to Absalom: he was uninvolved, failed to discipline Absalom, and shut Absalom out of his life for five years.

Ask: “Do you have a broken relationship that needs to be fixed?  Is there some friend or family member who, if you learned today that they had suddenly died, you would feel regret over your broken relationship?”

Tell the students if it is possible, they should try to fix the problem and mend the relationship before it is too late.  Tell them if that is not possible, however, they should confess their sins and ask God to free them from the pain of regret.  Urge everyone to start today doing what they need to do.  Voice a closing prayer.

CONCLUSION: Encourage everyone to start working now to mend any broken relationships so they won’t have to live with regret later.  Tell them to put the handout containing the text of Deuteronomy 6:4-9 somewhere they will see it and read it every day, as a reminder to love the Lord and teach their children.