December 31, 2023 – 2 Samuel 3; 5; and 6

Lesson Date: December 31, 2023

Focal Scripture Passage: Genesis 2:24; Deuteronomy 17:17; 2 Samuel 3:2-5; 5:12-16; 6:16-23; Ephesians 5:31

AIM: To lead students to discover that King David chose man’s ways for marriage instead of obeying God’s rules, and to commit to following God’s guidelines for marriage.

Before class: Read the notes on 2 Samuel 3, 5, and 6 found in the Sunday School Teacher Book.  Ask a volunteer to look up Deuteronomy 7:17 and be prepared to read it to the class when called upon.  Write the word “Marriage” across the top of the board.

INTRODUCTION (Create Learning Readiness): Ask: “Have you ever been to a wedding?” (everyone probably has).  Ask: “What do you usually find atop the wedding cake?” (little figures of a bride and groom).  Tell the class this is a traditional representation of marriage.

Tell the students that today, however, many people are redefining marriage.  Tell them that laws have been passed making so-called “same sex marriage” legal.  Explain that since man is redefining marriage, polygamy will undoubtedly become another “acceptable” form of marriage.

Draw a vertical line below the word “Marriage” on the board, creating two columns.  At the top of one column write the words “Man’s Way,” and write “God’s Way” at the top of the other column.  Ask: “Of the three types of marriage we have named today (traditional male/female, same sex, and polygamy) which one is God’s design for marriage?” (traditional male/female).  Ask: “What about same sex and polygamy?” (they are man’s ways).

Tell the class the title of today’s lesson is Marriage – Man’s Way or God’s Way?  Tell them as we learn about David’s family life we will see if David followed God’s way or man’s way.

HEART OF THE LESSON (Bible Study):

1. Review.
   • Remind the class that we are studying the Old Testament book of 2 Samuel.
   • Ask: “What was our last lesson from 2 Samuel (two weeks ago) about?” (Costs of Carelessness; we discovered costs of King David’s carelessness, and examined ourselves for signs of spiritual carelessness).
   • Ask if any volunteer would recite the memory verse from that lesson (1 Cor. 14:40).
2. God’s Plan for Marriage.
   • Ask everyone to turn to Genesis 2.
   • Ask a volunteer to read Genesis 2:24.
   • Ask: “Who is the man supposed to leave?” (his parents).
   • Write this under the heading of “God’s Way” on the board.
   • Note that this instruction was given to Adam, who had no parents; this fact reveals that God was giving a timeless principle, rather than specific instructions that were only applicable to one individual.
   • Ask: “Who is the man supposed to cleave (cling, adhere) to?” (his wife; not to any other woman).
   • Write this under the heading of “God’s Way” on the board.
   • Ask: “How many wives does this verse refer to?” (only one).
   • Explain the following:
     • This is God’s design for marriage, given to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.
     • Jesus quoted this verse and reaffirmed God’s design for marriage in Matthew 19:5-6 and Mark 10:7-8.
   • Ask everyone to turn to Ephesians 5.
   • Ask a volunteer to read Ephesians 5:31.
   • Ask: “How many persons are supposed to be in God’s kind of marriage?” (only two; it is to be an utterly exclusive union of husband and wife).
   • Write this under the heading of “God’s Way” on the board.
   • Summarize: God’s plan for marriage is for one man and one woman to be united in a permanent, exclusive bond.
3. David’s Marriages.
   • Ask everyone to turn to 2 Samuel 3.
   • Read 2 Samuel 3:2-5.
   • Remind the class that before David became king of all Israel, he was king of the southern tribe of Judah, which he ruled for 7 years from the city of Hebron.
   • Tell the class that 6 sons were born to David during those 7 years at Hebron.
   • Ask: “Look back over those verses; how many wives are named?” (six: Ahinoam, Abigail, Maacah, Haggith, Abital, and Eglah).
   • Explain the following:
     • In 1 Samuel 18, we learned that David married King Saul’s daughter Michal.
     • 1 Samuel 25 reveals that David took two more wives: Ahinoam and Abigail.
     • By the end of 1 Samuel we know that David had 3 wives, but the verses we just read reveal that he had at least 7 wives!
     • Also, these verses only identify the wives who bore sons; David may have had other wives who bore no children or who bore only daughters.
     • King David was a polygamist.
   • Ask: “Does this mean that God approves of polygamy?” (no).
   • Ask: “Is polygamy God’s way or man’s way?” (man’s way).
   • Write this on the board under the heading of “Man’s Way.”
   • Summarize: David violated God’s plan for marriage by taking multiple wives.
4. More Wives and Concubines.
   • Remind the students that in 2 Samuel 5 David became king over all of Israel and captured Jerusalem, making it his new capital.
   • Ask a volunteer to read 2 Samuel 5:12.
   • Ask: “What did David realize?” (that the Lord had established him as king and exalted his kingdom).
   • Read 2 Samuel 5:13-16.
   • Ask: “What did David do after God established him in Jerusalem?” (he took more wives and concubines, which were female slaves who had no rights as true wives but were available purely for sexual gratification).
   • Write this on the board under the heading of “Man’s Way.”
   • Explain the following:
     • These verses list 11 more sons born to David in Jerusalem.
     • We don’t know how many wives and concubines David had, but the Bible tells us he fathered 17 sons.
     • Polygamy was common in the ancient Middle East and it is still practiced in some non-Christian cultures today.
     • Kings often practiced polygamy to show off their wealth and power.
   • Ask: “Are we being too hard on David? If polygamy was common and other kings did it, wasn’t it only natural for David to do the same?” (while it may have been natural or popular, it was not God’s way).
   • Ask: “Was David simply ignorant? Had God ever said anything that addressed David’s situation as king?”
   • Ask the previously enlisted volunteer to read Deuteronomy 17:17.
   • Tell the class that verse is part of a longer passage of instructions for kings.
   • Ask: “What did God tell kings NOT to do?” (have multiple wives).
   • Ask: “What did He say would happen if a king had multiple wives?” (they would draw his heart away from following God).
   • Stress the fact that no one can keep their heart right with God while having marital relations with more than one person.
   • Ask: “Do you know anyone who has multiple wives or husbands?” (probably not).
   • Explain the following:
     • Polygamy is not common in America today, but adultery (having sex with someone other than one’s spouse) is.
     • Cohabitation is also very common: living with one partner for a while, and then leaving that person to live with another person.
     • While “legal” polygamy is uncommon in our society, many people engage in a sort of “practical” polygamy, having relations with many people.
   • Summarize: David took more wives and concubines, in direct violation of God’s Word.
5. Family Strife.
   • Ask a volunteer to read 2 Samuel 6:16.
   • Remind the students that we previously learned about David bringing the Ark of the Covenant into Jerusalem.
   • Ask: “How did David’s wife Michal feel about him?” (she despised him).
   • Read 2 Samuel 6:20-23.
   • Explain the following:
     • After bringing the Ark into Jerusalem, David went home to bless his household.
     • David’s “family” in no way resembled our Christian image of a loving father and mother living with and nurturing their children.
     • David had a large palace in which each wife or concubine probably had separate quarters for herself and her children.
     • Tell the class that Michal mocked David for removing his king’s robes and dancing in the simple clothing of a common priest.
   • Ask: “Do you detect some tension in David’s family?” (yes).
   • Ask: “What does verse 23 reveal about David’s relationship with Michal?” (he never had anything to do with her again, so she never had any children).
   • Stress the fact that when people violate God’s guidelines for marriage, family strife, hurt feelings, and broken relationships always result.
   • Write this on the board under the heading of “Man’s Way.”
   • Summarize: David’s broken relationship with his wife Michal is just one example of the hurt and heartache of doing marriage man’s way, instead of God’s way.

PERSONAL APPLICATION: Remind the class that the title of today’s lesson is Marriage – Man’s Way or God’s Way?  Direct everyone’s attention to the board.  Ask: “Did King David practice marriage God’s way or man’s way?” (man’s way).

Tell the students that David disobeyed God by taking many wives and concubines.  Hold up a Sunday School Member Quarterly and remind the class that the theme of this quarter’s study is “Costs of Disobedience.”  Stress the fact that David and his family paid a heavy price for disobeying God’s plan for marriage.  Tell the class as we continue our study of 2 Samuel, we will learn much more about the troubles in David’s family, all of which can be traced back to David’s disobedience in the area of marriage.

Stress the fact that we can’t have a truly happy marriage if we don’t do it God’s way.  On the board, write the word “Happy” under the heading of “God’s Way,” and “Trouble” under the heading of “Man’s Way.”  Tell the students there is no true happiness, security, peace, or contentment in the home unless we follow God’s rules for marriage.

Ask: “What about you?  Have you violated any of God’s guidelines for marriage?”  Tell the students there will always be bad results for breaking God’s rules, but the good news is that the Lord offers forgiveness.

Ask everyone to bow their head and close their eyes.  Tell them if they have violated any of God’s rules for marriage, they should confess their sins and ask God to forgive them.  Encourage everyone to make a personal commitment to God to live by His rules and standards from now on.  Voice a closing prayer.

CONCLUSION: Ask everyone to memorize Ephesians 5:31.  Tell the students to listen for stories in the media this week that illustrate the fact that the only way to have a happy marriage is to do it God’s way.